A career reflection at two days til 29
Who I am, how I got here, who I want to be—I analyze and reflect and dissect my answers to these questions almost daily. I live in my head. Before I get on a plane, if it were to go down, am I happy with the life I led? Did I treat people well? Did I stand up for myself, for what I believe in, for the people I love?
I’ve been a hard worker since I was young, picking rocks from my dad’s newly tilled garden to fill a 5 gallon bucket… for a dollar. I picked up acorns in my grandparents’ backyard for $5. I sold pseudo home baked goods—Hannah’s Good Sellin’—to kids in high school, picked up a waitressing job as soon as I could drive. In college, I worked until midnight as an intramural sports ref and woke up at 5 a.m. for lacrosse practice. I wanted money coming in. I wanted to add value to the community I was in. And I don’t think that will ever change.
I landed my “dream” company, National Geographic, headquartered in Washington, D.C., after working at POLITICO, after attending Northwestern University’s Medill, after a few years in marketing. I then gave up that “dream” to move with my fiancé back to Tampa—even though I fought like hell to work remotely. (For context, Nat Geo is owned by Disney, and Disney policy requires bodies at desks.) I offered to take a pay cut, to fly up on my own dime monthly, to commute to Orlando a few days a week to be in an office. Nope. Nada. Sorry. And for a while, that felt like failure.
I think about my ego, about how selfish and career-focused I am. I watched my older sister marry at age 20 and have two children before she turned 26. She puts my nieces’ needs and safety before her own. My brother-in-law said, ‘Wait until you have kids, you’ll change your perspective on life.’ And I, intuitively, agree. I just, literally, don’t have kids yet. Since I graduated with my bachelors degree, I’ve created 1, 5, and 10 year goals around my career. What companies did I want, what positions did I desire, who can I email, who do I need to get in front of, how do I make it happen—go, go, go, go, go.
My time at Nat Geo ended on Oct. 7. It was an anti-climatic departure. At my surprise Zoom going away party, my closest ally and friend was on vacation and wasn’t there. We later exchanged, per usual, lengthy text messages about our gratitude toward one another. I learned a lot from her about how to lead, how to navigate bitter colleagues, how to content strategize. We started on the same day in February. You can pinpoint the company’s 50% year-over-year gain in subscriptions to our arrival.
As much as I have loved working at national and global brands, I have a working theory that I’ll feel more connected to my work and more valued as an employee at a local paper. Am I trying to lessen the blow to my perceived identity as I justify to those who ask why the career change happened so quickly? In part, yes. Part of me knows I could’ve—and questions the what if I—stayed in D.C., flew back to Tampa on the weekends to spend time with Jack. Climbed the ladder a while longer, extended the end date on my LinkedIn. And then I boil my life desires down to: fck that! I want to come home to my man, my family, my home, every night.
I start at the Tampa Bay Times on the day after my birthday—I’m turning 29 forever!—on a Tuesday. I’ve chatted with the editor-in-chief and several other (happy to say) women newsroom leaders. Throughout the process, my ideas were heard and challenged to make better. Negotiations were made to make me feel valued and wanted. I was selling myself to them as much as they were selling themselves and the company to me—is that not what interviews are for? Yet beyond the niceties were hard questions. An eagerness to grow subscriptions. Fire. Passion. Loyalty to and love for the community and its readers and the work it takes to get there. I crave a challenge. And I have a longing for quality leadership from leaders who do as they say. T-minus three days until I get to get my hands dirty and see my impact at the best local paper in the country. As my former boss texted me with a congratulations, “Quality meets quality.”
Let’s go.